


Hey, kid? You get laid last night?

by bowsofwrath



Series: A Regular Guy [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Relationship(s), assholes being assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:24:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowsofwrath/pseuds/bowsofwrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rossi asks questions and points out the obvious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey, kid? You get laid last night?

**Author's Note:**

> Trout Slapped - a look of shock and surprise on a persons face that would be similar the the look evoked by being slapped in the face with a cold, dead fish.

“Hey, kid? You get laid last night? It looks good on you.”

Derek Morgan choked on his coffee. He had been in the middle of a sip when Rossi nearly shouted across the bullpen to Spencer Reid. 

Derek tried to keep his eyes open as much as possible through his ensuing coughing fit to catch the look of shock on the young Doctor’s face. The poor guy blushed from his face to his wrists and probably all other points in between. Derek believed the term he would use to describe the look on Spencer’s face was ‘trout slapped.’ 

Between the choking, coughing and now peals of hysterical laughter lack of oxygen was becoming a serious issue for Derek. His head throbbed and his vision blurred. “Rossi you son of a bitch” he said. “I spit coffee all over this report.” He was gasping trying to draw air into his lungs.

“Jealous” Spencer asked? “I wasn’t going to bring it up but I bet it’s been a pretty dry few months for you. I guess at your age there are more important things on you mind.”

Rossi chuckled. “I am just glad that you are out there taking advantage of your youth. Go on tell me about her.”

Spencer flinched slightly. Derek noticed and if he noticed Rossi defiantly noticed. “Don’t tell me she was a one night stand. That’s not your style Reid. At least tell me her name.”

“If he doesn’t want to share Rossi” Derek started.

“Jeremy” Spencer said cutting Derek off. He was looking down at his desk gathering some loose papers and stacking them neatly, but despite his lack of eye contact he had said the name clearly and without hesitation.

Derek looked back at the older agent. He doubted Rossi would have a problem with Spencer’s choice of companion. He had never given any indication of homophobia. It was hard to know for sure because of the opinions of other people Derek knew that were Rossi’s age. 

“Fine, then tell me about Jeremy” Rossi said. Both Derek and Spencer relaxed. The growing tension broken by that one question.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“How about something besides his name” Rossi said.

“I don’t see how it is any of your business. I didn’t ask for details about that cocktail waitress.” Spencer stopped arranging things on his desk and looked up. “Why don’t you ask Garcia? She can tell you everything you would ever want to know” Spencer said. “I’ll be right back.” With that the doctor turned on his heels and made his way for the restroom.

“What’s his problem” Rossi asked Derek?

“He tends to keep private things well, private” Derek said. 

“I’m guessing Garcia smelled blood in the water and went on an information gathering frenzy.”

Derek smiled “yeah, Hot Mamma got her mind set on finding out the owner of the car she saw Spencer walking away from a week ago. Jeremy is from Maryland, is the office manager at an auto body shop. Pretty Boy got his panties in a knot when he heard us talking about him. He said we were treating Jeremy like an unsub.”

“So, Reid was mad that you and Garcia dug up some information on his boyfriend. I find that hard to believe. Garcia going on a fact finding mission is a given. What were you two talking about” Rossi asked?

Derek squirmed under the scrutiny. Rossi was not going to accept any answer but the truth and he was not going to believe just anything. “He’s nothing special. This Jeremy guy only has an associates degree, no defining characteristics that make him stand out. He could be anyone you pass by on the street. He is not going to keep Reid’s interest.”

“So the problem is Reid is dating someone too normal” Rossi asked? 

“Yes” Derek said. 

“Well there’s the problem” Rossi said. “You have classified this guy as beneath, unworthy, less than our friend here. If Spencer heard this and if Garcia was speaking about Jeremy the same way no wonder he’s mad. I’d be mad and I know you would be really pissed off.”

Derek had to admit that Rossi was right. He would go off on anyone who decided to classify any woman he was seeing as not on his level. Derek was just thought Spencer was mad that his secret was fished out. 

“Now I feel like an even bigger asshole” Derek said.

“You should” Rossi said and patted Derek on the shoulder. “Good talk, I’m always glad to point out your glaringly obvious mistakes.”


End file.
